tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-16340535525355177862024-03-12T22:28:14.137-05:00Enithis is me, beautifully vulnerable and happily human.Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.comBlogger294125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-29616395948406464522021-09-27T06:06:00.001-05:002021-09-27T06:06:12.107-05:00印象 (inshō, impression)<p><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span>If only success<br /></span>Made a bigger impact than<br />Times I missed the mark.</span></p>Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-53436442927409542402021-01-15T10:58:00.001-06:002021-01-15T10:58:07.871-06:00dress down<p>We spend so much time<br />Putting bows on brokenness<br />Wrapping pain up in pretty paper<br />Adding sparkle to scars</p><p>Not realizing that<br />Decoration doesn't add value and<br />Hiding behind highlights is<br />Only temporary</p><p>Flaws can only be fixed if they're seen<br />Hurt only heals when it's acknowledged<br /><br />Protection from every injury impedes progress<br /></p><p>Sometimes the things that sting are the things that save you</p>Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-8050759110223127122021-01-15T10:48:00.004-06:002021-01-15T10:48:35.075-06:00ECHOING ICARUSI’m too close.<br />I know it.<br /><br />But I can’t<br />step away from<br />the fierce desire<br />to protect you<br />from your demons<br />and your plagues<br />even though it’s<br />not my place.<br /><br />You are suffering.<br />I am sick<br />to my stomach<br />with this knowledge.<br /><br />And I would<br />blur boundaries and<br />defy logic and<br />attack the sun<br />to heal you<br />even though I<br />am fully aware<br />of the futility.<br /><br />I know it.<br />I’m too close.Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-86734822095852828122020-09-24T12:27:00.006-05:002020-09-24T12:31:50.876-05:00on the subject of a black woman's silencemy silence is not willful apathy.<br />it is not the absence of rage.<br /><br /><div>it is not a lack of desire<br />to process,<br />to protest,<br />to educate.<br /><br /></div><div>it is not consent,<br />no inaudible whisper of <br />"yes" to injustice,<br />no hushed utterance of <br />"this is ok, everything is ok."<br /><br /></div><div>do not equate the shutting of my mouth<br />with the closing of my eyes and ears<br />to the tension so tangibly felt.<br /><br /></div><div>i am aware.<br /><br /></div><div>i know that for some, <br />silence is agreement <br />with all of the above.<br /><br /></div><div>not so for me.<br /><br /></div><div>it has become hard to believe<br />that the pen is mightier than anything,<br />that one's voice holds power.<br />when reality hits<br />and history repeats,<br />i feel choked and powerless.<br /><br /></div><div>in saying nothing, <br />i preserve self.<br />it feels like the only power i have.</div>Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-28708354546215986862020-07-12T10:41:00.002-05:002020-07-12T10:46:50.994-05:00(untitled)<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>during a virtual poetry night last week, we were given the prompt to write a letter to someone on our last day of life. without even thinking, i knew who i was going to write about, and probably could've gotten to work on the spot. the other folks wanted more time, so we took the following week to reflect and write and read them to each other yesterday.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">there’s no way to make up the lost time.</span><br />
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">phone calls that could’ve happened but didn’t,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“thinking of you” texts never sent,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">so many words unspoken.</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">i was too passive.</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">i thought i’d see you next Christmas,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">thought i’d get another chance to call for your birthday,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">thought i had so many moments left,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">endless memories to make in this life.</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">i didn’t use the time i had</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">because i thought i had nothing but time.</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">and ever since we lost you,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">i’ve found so much guilt in your place,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">unanswered questions mingled with regret--</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">did you know how much i loved you?</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">did my actions make that clear when my words didn’t?</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">can you forgive my selfishness?</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">can you look past my attraction to convenience?</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">i honestly don’t know why i wrote all this down</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">When tomorrow i’ll get the chance to say it directly to you.</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">four years ago,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">i prayed that your death wasn’t real,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">that you’d somehow survived,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">that it wasn’t your body they’d identified.</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">once my heart accepted reality,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">i hoped that death didn’t hurt you like it hurt us.</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">now that my own last day has arrived,</span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">only four words come to mind:</span></div>
<div class="p2" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal; min-height: 14px;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="p1" style="font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; line-height: normal;">
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’ll see you soon.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></i>
<i><span style="font-family: inherit;">(for my cousin Brian. he would've been 36 today.)</span></i></div>
Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-72273807505200852752020-05-30T22:15:00.001-05:002020-09-24T12:31:24.319-05:00parallelthe life-breath of God // the last-breath in death<br />rage-fueled fires tonight // Holy-Spirit Pentecost tomorrow<br /><br />an agent of protest // a murder weapon<br />violence begets violence // sirens beget sirens<br />black and white thinking // protests into riots<br /><br />proud to live in this skin // scared to die because of it<br />numbness // sadness // fear // rage<br /><br />too tired to keep writing // too tired to stopEboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-11857915610100614332019-09-01T10:20:00.000-05:002019-09-01T10:20:37.373-05:00語り (katari, story-telling)All I have is tales<br />
Of ghosts courting, and bullets<br />
Imperfectly dodged.Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-18606613460816297382017-07-18T04:46:00.001-05:002018-05-31T02:30:26.654-05:00開放火炎 (Kaihō Kaen, Open Flame)A dangerous game:<br />How close to fire can I<br />Get before it hurts?Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-8416965672745875712016-08-19T18:28:00.001-05:002016-08-19T18:28:23.791-05:00嵐のチェーサー (arashi no chēsā, storm chaser)I have a habit<div>Of running toward danger</div><div>When others have fled</div>Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-75502174216634679932016-06-13T08:49:00.001-05:002016-06-13T12:37:08.506-05:00悲しみ (kanashimi, grief)somewhere among the<div>memories and well-wishes</div><div>perhaps we'll find peace</div>Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-56798575474357592182016-04-06T14:24:00.000-05:002016-04-06T14:24:01.771-05:00Water (I Won't Drown)Chorus: <div>
I don’t need you </div>
<div>
I need stability </div>
<div>
And all the promises you made </div>
<div>
They don’t mean a thing to me </div>
<div>
Your words are water </div>
<div>
I am worn and weathered down </div>
<div>
But I won’t drown </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Verse 1: </div>
<div>
You were a head rush </div>
<div>
Sweet nothings falling like rain </div>
<div>
I tried to cover my head </div>
<div>
But I couldn’t stop the flood </div>
<div>
We were the best and worst </div>
<div>
Smiling and gasping for air </div>
<div>
But I’m finally catching my breath </div>
<div>
And I think that you should know </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Verse 2: </div>
<div>
Back on my own two feet </div>
<div>
I’ll climb out from under your cloud </div>
<div>
Learning to dance in the storm </div>
<div>
Every time it starts to pour </div>
<div>
Maybe the wind gets strong </div>
<div>
But it won’t be bringing me down </div>
<div>
Here comes the hurricane now</div>
<div>
You’re not gonna knock me out</div>
Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-66977596042971812502016-02-21T14:14:00.001-06:002016-02-23T22:49:46.322-06:00Freewrite #3<i>There are actually 2 other freewrites somewhere on this blog...this one is from back in October. Happened during worship one Wednesday night.</i><br />
<div>
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<span>Herein is love that transcends feeling</span><br />
<div>
You adore me when I'm less than likable</div>
<div>
When your face is the last thing I'm seeking</div>
<div>
And I'm thinking </div>
<div>
how could this broken vessel </div>
<div>
be your most prized possession</div>
<div>
I've done nothing to admire</div>
<div>
Life nothing but mire</div>
<div>
But Lord you inspire</div>
<div>
It's your breath in my lungs so I'll never get tired</div>
<div>
And I will aspire to be all you desire</div>
</div>
Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-6735714228632622492016-02-21T13:46:00.001-06:002016-02-23T22:52:25.672-06:00全体性 (Zentai-sei, wholeness)<div><i>Wrote this series of haiku in a card for a friend a few months ago. </i></div><div><br></div><div>We sometimes assume</div><div>That those with the brightest smiles</div><div>Have never shed tears</div><div><br></div><div>The reality:</div><div>Strength often makes itself known</div><div>After we've felt weak</div><div><br></div><div>But the wisest words</div><div>Great poetry and passion</div><div>Can come from our pain</div><div><br></div><div>And without the night</div><div>We would find it harder to</div><div>Appreciate day</div><div><br></div><span>Always remember:</span><div>You're more than your history--</div><div>Hospitals, heartbreak--</div><div><br></div><div>You're laughter, light, joy</div><div>Today, tomorrow, always</div><div>Beautifully whole.</div>Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-32334226392064527502016-01-18T20:03:00.001-06:002016-01-18T20:03:49.590-06:00苦い (nigai, bitter)i am pitch black night<div>glasses all half empty and</div><div>vitriolic speech</div>Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-51624085291368161552016-01-18T12:58:00.001-06:002016-01-20T13:41:04.226-06:00open.Write the damage down—<br />
<div>
Don't hold back.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Replay every permutation of no,</div>
<div>
All the diminished returns,</div>
<div>
Each day that called you an option.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Realize it's a lot safer inside your own head—</div>
<div>
At least for now,</div>
<div>
Perhaps forever.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Unhook your heart from your sleeve;</div>
<div>
Place it back in your chest</div>
<div>
Where it's warm and no one can crush it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Make a new mantra of self-preservation</div>
<div>
And scream it to yourself through your tears.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Just remember to lock the door when you're done,</div>
<div>
Or history will repeat itself—</div>
<div>
More patterns will weave their way inside,</div>
<div>
And before you even know what's happened,</div>
<div>
You'll have more damage to write down.</div>
Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-63781245309796581792015-12-15T21:37:00.001-06:002016-01-14T12:26:45.898-06:0012/13/15<p style="margin: 0px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">guarded.</i></p><p style="margin: 1em 0px 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">show me how you built them.<br>i won’t ask you<br> to guide my hands.<br>feel free to just rattle off words,<br>syllable by syllable, <br> brick by brick.<br>it’s okay to be quick.<br>i’m a fast learner with a long way to go.<br>you’ve got walls,<br> i want a fortress.<br>(considering castles, a moat maybe)<br>but it’s okay to start small. i just know that<br>no one needs in here anymore.</span></p><p style="margin: 1em 0px 0px;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">tell me about your armor.<br>you can hold me<br> at arm’s length if you want to.<br>i understand it’s easier.<br>i seem to like the hard way.<br>charge into battle<br> heart first, headstrong, no helmet.<br>i can’t be that afraid of getting hurt.<br>(but God does it hurt)<br>so maybe it’s time to defend myself. after all,</span></p><p style="margin: 1em 0px 0px;"><i style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">i’m not beautiful enough to break you.</i></p>Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-55158699726099463842015-12-05T01:14:00.001-06:002015-12-05T01:14:07.116-06:00幽霊睡眠 (Yuurei Suimin, Haunted Sleep)Consider my luck:<div>All of my dreams and nightmares</div><div>Seem to feature you.</div>Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-22872254375394970882015-11-25T14:03:00.001-06:002016-08-09T09:04:36.798-05:00PoisonI posted about this song several years ago (<a href="http://thinkerpoetdreamer.blogspot.com/2011/07/poison-new-song.html">see here, see here</a>), but I just realized I never posted the lyrics when I finished the song.<br>
<div>
<br>
<div class="MsoNormal">
verse 1<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
well, they told me admitting it is half the battle<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
so imma step up on my soapbox and give you all a piece of my
mind<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">tell you my name and spin you a tale<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
of how i’m probably an addict, and i think that i’m dying
from it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
i have these dreams, or maybe they’re nightmares<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
about the day that we crossed paths and how<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
i haven’t been the same since<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
and
now staying and leaving, they both seem like suicide<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
chorus (2x):<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
it seems i can’t shake you<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
deep down i know i need to<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
even still, i don’t care<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
i guess i’ll die by your poison<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
verse 2<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
well, now i’m in my bed but hardly sleeping<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
see i know i shouldn’t miss you but it’s all i really want
to do<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
i didn’t know i had fallen so far<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
is this pleasure or pain, cause i can’t seem to distinguish
the two<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
my brain's a fog and my hands won’t stop shaking<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
i guess this is my version of withdrawal<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
but i don’t think that i can sober up<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
at the rate that i’m going, I'll be gone tomorrow</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(chorus)</div>
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Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-69147258135477038032015-07-03T19:44:00.002-05:002015-11-25T13:44:31.215-06:00(don't have a title for this right now)you recover.<br /><br />you breathe, stretch.<br />you somehow stand up.<br />you find the muscles for a smile again.<br />you laugh a little too loudly and hug a little too long.<br />you keep breathing.<br />you have some tea.<br />
you do a few chores.<br />you downward dog.<br />you dance a little.<br />you realize the pain wasn’t enough to kill you so<br />
you keep going.<br />you know it won’t be the last time but<br />you let the thought pass.<br />you look forward to tomorrow.<br /><br />you recover.
Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-50357682554045817642015-05-07T20:25:00.000-05:002015-05-07T20:25:00.848-05:00vertical aesthetici just sent an email <br />to a friend <br />in the form of a poem--<br /><br />stanzas,<br /><br />line <br />breaks, <br />the whole 9 <br />minus rhymes<br />(oh wait)<br /><br />not sure whyEboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-42496378498817974492014-07-27T20:41:00.002-05:002014-07-27T20:41:27.807-05:00faith encounterstoday in church, i was feeling detached. we kept talking about experiencing God, asking ourselves when we last felt the presence of God…and i just felt like i was there but not there. like i’ve been going through motions. i kept trying to let that feeling go, to focus, but it wouldn’t leave.<br />
<br />
until the last few minutes of service. <br />
<br />
i loved doing jigsaw puzzles when i was little—if i had time, i’d still do them on occasion. i used to work on them over the span of days; i would sit at the table in our family room upstairs and put together 100, 500, 1000+ piece puzzles, losing track of time, sometimes putting them together systematically—starting at the edges of the picture and working my way in—and sometimes fitting things together with no real rhyme or reason.<br />
<br />
back when i was applying to colleges, my pastor preached a sermon entitled “Let God Put the Pieces Together.” he gave everyone a puzzle pieces as a reminder of his point. i made a necklace out of it and wore it to multiple pre-frosh weekends. it was a tangible indicator of who was in control as i tried to figure out where i’d be attending school after graduation. i think i still have it somewhere.<br />
<br />
at the end of church today, as i was praying that i would let go and let God work out these feelings of detachment, He gave me a brief glimpse of Him, sitting at a table, fitting jigsaw pieces together…slowly, carefully. He showed me that He is fitting me together, even when i don’t feel Him doing so, even if it seems to take Him days or weeks to finish it. i can’t put myself together; only He can do that. i want to rest in that image, because it’s been with me for a while, whether i was aware of it or not.Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-2819452450798703982013-10-07T21:23:00.000-05:002013-10-07T21:27:41.875-05:00common knowledge"Everyone knows,"<br />
we say,<br />
"that putting<br />
Band-aids on bullet<br />
wounds will never<br />
stop the bleeding."<br />
<br />
and yet<br />
we let those<br />
crimson rivers<br />
flow<br />
<br />
and<br />
we wrap<br />
our secrets in<br />
gauze<br />
<br />
and<br />
we walk like<br />
we've never been<br />
damagedEboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-70116563231149434152013-05-20T14:48:00.000-05:002013-11-22T15:26:51.071-06:00Kaleidoscope, Ch. 9<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i>**Author's Note: As promised, whenever I get a chance to come back to this project and finish a chapter of </i>Kaleidoscope<i>, I'll post it on this blog. Just keep in mind that I'm not trying for award-winning writing; I'm simply trying to finish the project for its own sake (do tell me what you think of it, though). In the words of James Thurber (which I often reference when I'm writing a paper), "Don't get it right, just get it written."**</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Serenity sat
slumped over at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, blankly regarding her
half-eaten bowl of cereal. Botan was
busy ferrying souls to Spirit World, and Amake hadn’t made an appearance yet,
even though it was almost noon. The
morning had taken quite a bit out of all of them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Serenity fingered the necklace
Ratoshi had given her, then the locket with her mother’s picture, which she had
put on before going to bed the night before.
Struggling to put the morning into some sort of perspective, she
recalled what Kurama had said about her newly discovered ability to
teleport. Following his logic, Serenity
thought she might be able to add electricity to the growing list of
anomalies. She was beginning to doubt
that merely “interacting with the Spirit World” could cause such a dynamic
manifestation of power.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> “Your cereal’s getting soggy, you
know,” said a voice to her right. She
turned to see Amake sitting on the stool next to her, reaching for jelly to put
on a piece of toast. The hair on his
head was sticking out in various places, and he was shirtless. Serenity couldn't help but glance briefly at his body before meeting his gaze. Amake
didn’t seem to notice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> “Hey there, sleepyhead,” she said in
greeting. “I didn’t notice you come in.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Amake tried to suppress a yawn while
he spoke. “I just rolled off the couch a
couple of minutes ago, actually.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Serenity nodded and poked at her
cereal, spooning it into her mouth slowly.
The two friends sat in silence for a minute. Then, she thought of something to ask.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> “Hey, Amake…right before the
lightning stopped this morning and you and Botan came in…what happened?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> He took a bite of toast before
answering. “Well, what do you remember?”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Serenity pondered the question for
some time before she replied. “There
were flashes of a nightmare I’d had…there was the lightning…but then I felt
something inside my head. I don’t know
how to describe it exactly; it was only a voice, but it was also more than just
a voice. It kept whispering my name over
and over, and I started to feel, I don’t know…at peace. Then the lightning stopped and the nightmare
didn’t haunt me anymore. That’s when you
and Botan came in.” She finished her
account and glanced up at Amake. She
noticed that he was smiling; her eyes turned brown with curiosity.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"> Amake balled up the napkin that his
toast had been resting on before he’d finished it. Then he got up and walked over to the
trashcan, threw the paper ball away, sat back down, and turned the stool so
that his whole body faced Serenity. The
enigmatic smile had not left his face.
Serenity’s brow furrowed as she waited for an explanation. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Amake
remained silent for another couple of seconds before Serenity spoke again. “Well?
What are you smiling about?”
Suddenly, Amake placed a hand on her shoulder and leaned closer to her,
his eyes never leaving hers. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Amake
moved his head to his right, Serenity’s left, once his face was no more than an
inch from hers. He stopped when his lips
were at her ear; Serenity could feel his warm breath on her skin as he began to
whisper to her.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">The
spoon she was still holding fell from her hands with a loud clatter as she
pushed back from the breakfast bar and away from Amake’s hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“THAT
VOICE WAS YOU? YOU WENT INSIDE MY HEAD?”
she exclaimed, her eyes turning red and gray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Amake
looked down and brushed stray crumbs from his pants before speaking again. “Wasn’t expecting you to get so upset—”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Upset!? You invade my mind without my knowledge and
expect me not to get angry!? What kind
of sense…” Serenity paused and lowered her voice. “How?” she growled flatly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">“Well,”
Amake replied, “it’s one of the many talents that Kaze and I realized we had,
some months after your disappearance. We
can levitate, read minds, bend spoons, stop objects in mid-air—the list goes
on.” For emphasis, Amake lifted
Serenity’s fallen eating utensil and placed it back in her cereal bowl without
ever touching either object. “Of course,
my brother can do some of those things better than I can, and vice versa, but
you get the idea.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">By
this time, the rage had left Serenity’s eyes, replaced by timidity. “Hey, Amake, I’m…really sorry for losing you
guys. I know ‘sorry’ doesn’t fix the
fact that a lot has happened since the last time we were all together…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: .5in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Amake
placed a reassuring hand on Serenity’s shoulder, causing her to fall silent. “I suppose,” he said through a smile, “that
we’ll simply have to make up for lost time.”</span><span style="font-family: Times New Roman;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-33819375194321437782013-04-16T15:33:00.000-05:002013-04-16T15:33:17.734-05:00勿忘草 Wasurenagusa (Forget-Me-Not)i leave little notes<br />
around my house to remind<br />
me of who i amEboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1634053552535517786.post-25442633073600512482013-04-16T15:27:00.003-05:002013-05-17T09:46:56.298-05:00just so we're clear...this blog has sort of decomposed a bit. i'm sure that's obvious given the fact that i haven't posted on it since New Years Eve. moving forward, i think i'll mainly use this one for transient literary experiments--poems when i write them, and attempted prose if i ever get back to that.<br />
<br />
my main/general blogs now:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://physiciantobe.wordpress.com/">Eni, MD</a> (adventures in medical school)<br />
<a href="http://totallyquotingthis.tumblr.com/">Totally Quoting This</a> (mostly quotes. some other things too)<br />
<a href="http://totallysharingthis.tumblr.com/">Totally Sharing This</a> (similar to the one above, for gifs, memes, and other such things)<br />
<br />
feel free to check back here every now and then to see if i've overcome writer's block recently.Eboné Ingramhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06135862993008301765noreply@blogger.com0