why i hate the number 33

"way to go!  you've made a great choice to live healthier," the website says.  i decided to click "stay with weight watchers" only because they offered me a free "recipe book" (more like a brochure) download if i did.  but in all seriousness i'm quitting.  hopefully for good.

i decided to go on weight watchers in mid-January.  they were running this 3 month special promotion, and i wanted to drop some pounds.  so i signed up.  i originally thought that the program was great; i learned about portion control (scary, what a portion really is), and i started to feel as if i were losing something.

but then the honeymoon ended.  i  think for a minute there, i became a bit obsessed with the numbers.  i take my ipod touch everywhere so i can track points for everything i eat.  when i weight myself on weight-in day, i end up getting kind of stressed, partly because for some reasons my scale(s) like to go haywire on me when i step on them, and partly because according to the scale(s) (when they work) i've been gaining fractions of pounds just about every week since joining.  i've been toying with the idea of just dropping the program, trying to see how i'd do on my own, and joining spark people (for free!) if i end up falling flat on my face.

fast forward to today.  i woke up, stepped on the scale, saw the usual message from weight watchers ("oops, you gained this week") when i punched the numbers in...and got angry.  i realized i was sick of being obsessed with this number, with point values and all of this.  i kept saying to myself, "my self-worth is not on that scale."  and i also began to realize that maintaining my mental health (and attempting to maintain my physical health on my own) is better than reaching some random goal weight and staying under a points plus value every day.  my well-being is so much more than 33 daily points and whatever exercise i can punch into the system.

*if there are any errors or awkward sentences, apologies.  i actually wrote this while nodding off.  been keeping some late hours these days...*