Train Station

(November 25, 2009)

i sit with my

back against a wall

following passengers' shoes

across the floors

as if i could see their

hearts through their 

soles at peace with the 

outofmyway

aura about this place

and the dust bunnies that dance

reels around my 

luggage i count the hours

before my destination

and find that

wherelivescollide

there's never a dull moment.

I must confess...

i am madly, deeply in love.

You have shown me that You are all that i need.  i keep forgetting just how much You care.  i keep forgetting how close You truly are to every part of me.  but i don't want to forget that again.

i like the warmth of Your embrace, the way that feeling You feels.  it's not like any other human closeness.  it starts from my heart and moves to the rest of me.  to be honest, i think it's unusual.  completely, utterly, beautifully unusual.

my heart has been taken advantage of on more than one occasion.  sometimes it's hard to open up, hard to be truthful, for fear of rejection or whatever else might come about.  but You easily break down those walls, the fortress that i've tried to build.  You leave me vulnerable...but then You stand by as protection.

i give You the key to my heart.  because i know You won't abuse the privilege of knowing me on such a level.

Jesus, i love You.

Sincerely...

miracle in Haiti

there are reasons to rejoice, even under the conglomerate heap of rubble-chaos-sorrow that at the moment exists in Haiti.

i saw on the news a couple of days ago that while sifting through it all, rescuers found a small child.  she had survived--by herself--for 3 days before they got to her.

in my heart, i named this girl Miracle.

i believe she will grow healthy and strong, and that she will one day tell her story to anyone who needs to hear it.

there are little miracles everywhere, but they're hard to find.

if you don't see them at first, it doesn't mean they don't exist.

even if all you see is an aftermath of fear and darkness...you have to keep digging.

never give up hope.

interesting...

in Bible study tonight, we talked about Israel and its surrounding regions.  the pastor pointed out the Jordan River on the map and told us about how it was the last river the Israelites had to cross before reaching the Promised Land.  someone mentioned a Negro spiritual which includes the lines

Oh, wasn't that a wide river

River of Jordan, Lord,

Wide river

There's one more river to cross. 

she asked if the two instances were related.

the pastor responded that they did share some similarities.  he talked about how the Israelites were freed from bondage and, because of their disobedience, wandered in the wilderness for 40 years until they finally crossed the river and reached Canaan.

the stories of the Israelites and of African Americans are even more similar than many consider.

we were "freed" in the 19th century, at least in part.  but it's apparent in this day and age that we are a lost people.  instead of turning to God like we should, some of us turn to BET, drugs, sex, slang, and pointless rap.  we're wandering, looking for the right, even though it's all around us.

and we can't find our Promised Land until we open our eyes.    

Internal Conflict

imagine giving up something you love...for something you can't see.

i'm locked in a debate.  on the surface, the solution seems simple, but beneath the to be or not to be that is, there lies a question of morality that some choose not to understand.

right now, i think i know the answer.  it's one i never thought i'd have to come to, but the spinner of fate dictates that i look at the matter more closely, with eyes that see like his.  that always makes the unlikely answers seem more correct.

as i further prepare to leave contentment for the unknown, i wonder if it'll still seem this clear.