Free Agent Day

i used to "celebrate" Single Awareness Day (aka SAD).  you know, you hang out with other single friends (no couples allowed), eat fattening food, catch a chick flick or two, and talk about the people who don't know you exist but whom you can't stop crushing on anyway.  harmless, right?

wrong.  because after leaving those friends, putting the leftover mozzarella sticks in the freezer, and returning the DVDs, i never felt happy about my singleness anymore.  i felt downright lonely.  no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't shake the feeling that maybe i'd never have that someone who could buy me (white) chocolate and serenade me on Valentine's Day.  i no longer felt like celebrating; the SADness was all that was left.

last semester, i learned a lot about myself.  i started  to realize that i don't have to settle for the first guy who smiles in my direction, that i'm ________ enough (good, pretty, nice, whatever) to choose to whom i want to give my attention.  toward the end of November, i started referring to myself as a free agent.

i admit that maybe it sounds a bit silly.  but in my honest opinion, the term "single" just isn't very proactive.  it calls up images of someone sitting in her room, moping about how nobody likes her and waiting for someone to rescue her from her perpetual state of loneliness (i should know...i've been that girl).  in contrast, a "free agent" to me sounds like someone who has options, who doesn't have to be asked out to have a good time, who knows that anything is possible once she leaves her room.

so this year, instead of "celebrating" Single Awareness Day over some tortilla chips and a sappy rom-com, i plan to take full advantage of Free Agent Day.  anything could happen this Tuesday.  the plan so far is to buy myself some white chocolate and listen to some music (nothing depressing either.  i have a playlist).  but of course, i'm open to any, ah...amendments, to this plan.  :)

but one thing is certain: no matter what sorts of adventures i end up having on 2/14/12 (and beyond), above all i will celebrate--actually celebrate--that my identity isn't found in someone else (rather, Someone Else).

embrace free agency.

Love y'all,
3Ni