Monday, June 1, 2009

thus begins summer 09

the thing i wanted to post (an answer to "misfit") is still currently under construction, i.e. i have a serious case of writer's block. even still, it's time to post something new.

it's the end of my first day at the Summer Medical and Dental Education Program at University of Louisville (SMDEP). and i'm really excited about the program. i'm surrounded by people who want to go into the healthcare profession, surrounded by science, surrounded by beautiful weather and beautiful smiling people.

and yet, my fears begin to kick in. this program defines a future that is not too far off: i apply for medical school in just a few years. it's no longer a hazy goal on the horizon. it's getting closer to me.

i've always been a little bit scared of what will happen next. you could say that i don't want to turn the page and start the next chapter of this book that is my life. this chapter features a level of independence that i have yet to reach, talk of money that i've yet to obtain, newness that i can't yet wrap my brain around.

with that in mind (or, in spite of having all that in mind), i guess it's good that i'm here. maybe being here can help me better brace myself for this next phase. maybe this program will help to allay some of my fears. i have a feeling that i'll learn more than science during this six weeks. so even though i'm nervous, i'm hopeful, ready to apply myself, ready to commit to memory as much organic chemistry as humanly possible. i won't let fear immobilize me.

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