Tuesday, May 26, 2009

reminiscing...i can't help it (posted to Facebook on 1/4/09)

…“you had me at hello”

…it somehow just says it all.

you had me…and you knew it…

but for some reason you decided to ignore what you knew I felt. you raised me up so ridiculously high that I almost stopped breathing the air of mundane existence, only to let me crash down to a lower low than I might have ever felt, gulping the dirty air of disappointment because there was nothing else to breathe.

really, you didn’t just let me fall….you PUSHED me.

I remember the day that you wrote:

"she has me tripping over myself…if only you knew what you are doing to me."

I was stupid.

because I was so sure you were talking about me.

everyone thought that you were perfect—that WE were perfect. I was sitting there with my horribly naïve but undeniably cheerful expectations…dreaming about the idea of you, knowing that you were so close to reality, with your politeness, your charm…

you obviously were not that close to reality. all of us who thought I had a solid foundation on cloud nine…were disappointed in the worst way possible. your silence became my reality. I had to move back to cloud 8.5 once again. and I learned the truth…that you held another girl the way I wished to one day hold you.

and my smile slowly started to fade with the passing days.

once again, I was stupid. for letting myself get so attached to you when there was no basis for such attachment. it’s my curse. it’s what I always do without fail.

you knew this…and you let it remain the painful truth.

you had me at hello…and faded away without a goodbye.

No comments:

Post a Comment